Showing my age   2 comments

Okay so there are times in my life when I stop and consider my age and the past several weeks have had me thinking about just how old I am.  Every once in awhile I tell Shawn I feel like I am in my twenties and then I wonder how in the world could this year be my 36th year on the planet.  I am not sure what I thought it would feel like but I do realize that the number is so relative.  I am happy being 36 I am content with my life and where I am on my  journey.  I feel smarter at times and completely clueless at other times which is not that different than how I felt at every other age in life.

So  maybe you are wondering what brought about this long look at my age and there are two situations over the past two weeks that made me pause.  The first one was at the mall.  My kids were in the play area with Shawn and there  must have been about a million kids in an area meant for 50 and that means I find any excuse I can to exit the play area for small breaks.  I told Shawn I would be right back and went into the shop next door which has fun hippie clothes I love.  I was walking around enjoying some quiet and this young girl walks in front of me first I was amazed that I could see her butt cheeks because her shorts were so tiny and then I noticed her nylon stocking, and then her neon high tops and although she looked stylish for her age I don’t like see anyone’s butt.   Finally I looked up and noticed she was wearing a head set and before I could stop myself I thought oh my gosh she works here I can’t believe she would wear that to work.  Then I busted out laughing, she probably thought I was weird, but I couldn’t help myself what I really thought in a round about way was I can’t believe kids these days do you see what they are wearing!

My second incident was at IKEA it just opened in our city and sometimes there is a line just to get in the building.  My friend and I with our 3 kids decided to take a trip on a weekday believing people work.  Well it was much better than the weekend we did not have to wait outside but it was a bit overwhelming because there were so many people.  Similar to me Symeon behaves oddly in these types of situations when he is totally over stimulated so needless to say he was having  a difficult time and not acting as I would have hoped.   Well we were in the bedroom area and he was playing with this small cart you could push around and out of no where he saw this girl about twice his size standing there and he walked over and pushed the cart right into her.  I saw this from where I was standing and went right over to him, took the cart, made him apologize, and then set him on time out in the stroller.  The hardest part for me was the look on the little girl’s Mother’s face.  She looked at Symeon like he was the next Charles Manson and she looked at me like I told him to do it.  I apologized to her and she made a comment like okay whatever and I had to bite my tongue and walk away.  You see what was going through  my mind was if her kid was so perfect she should offer classes for the rest of us and then I thought, much to my disgrace, I would really like to ram you with my stroller when I am leaving instead I said sorry and walked away.  I see now at this age that I am a role model for these tiny little people.  I am not proud that I wanted to ram this woman but I am proud of the  way I managed myself in front of my child.   I walked away took a step back and thought for a minute that Symeon learned the message I wanted him to have.  I am at an age in my journey where I am the role model for two small people and they are always watching.

These two situations made me think about my age not in a bad way but mostly in a life perspective way.  I am 36 this is where I am on my life journey and that impacts my perspective on the world.  I have been married, I have moved all over the US, I have traveled, I have worked in lots of positions, and I have birthed children all of these things color my perspective but I don’t need to let them cloud it.  I have to be willing to evaluate how I see the world and recognize with age comes a change in perspective which I hope makes me slower to judge and much quicker to forgive.


Posted August 22, 2011 by shelvaleep in Aging, Life Lessons

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2 responses to “Showing my age

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  1. “A gray head is a crown of glory;
    It is found in the way of righteousness.
    He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty,
    And he who rules his spirit than he who captures a city.”
    Proverbs 16:31-32.

  2. Wow, Shelva. Love this post. I was in Trader Joes yesterday and there was a girl there (with her father) with teeny tiny shorts on. The worst part is at the butt area there were two horizontal cuts, one on each butt cheek and you could totally see her black lacey underwear. My first thought was, wow, maybe she had no idea those shorts were wide open in the back, then HOW would her father ( that I think about it maybe it WASN’T her father) go out in public with her dressed like that! You’re so right, it’s so easy to judge, when in all actuality, it’s none of my business.

    I can totally relate to your experience with the mom at Ikea. So man times I have been in that situation and have wanted to shove a mom or duck tape their child. (okay, a little drastic…but that’s how mad I have been in certain situations!) I hate that my children need to know there are people in this world who are not kind but, like you, want them to know how to react in those kind of situations. I hope to teach them love and compassion instead of anger and bitterness.

    Oh, what a journey, my friend!

    Thanks so much for your post 🙂

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