Dating at Age 36   2 comments

At 20, most people have not been wounded in ways that crack them permanently, and dating seems relatively easy.

Okay, this - this I wouldn't want to go back to.

But at age 36,  when most of us – me included – have been battered around by life, dating is quite hard.  We all walk around a little broken, a little bent.  The wounds of past relationships, our own bad decisions, choices beyond our control – they make us guarded and scared.  They make us push too hard or pull back too much.  Everything is just so complicated.

Sometimes I wish it was easy like it felt when I was 20 years old.  I liked a man – okay, he was probably a boy at that point; I could usually tell pretty quickly if he liked me.  We spent time together.  We learned about where we lived and what we liked to eat.  We talked about what we hoped for life, and we didn’t take too much too seriously.  (At least this is how I remember it now – I’m sure it wasn’t all roses then either.)

Now, though, there is an urgency behind all of this – a true sense of life moving more quickly, of opportunities sliding through our fingers like sand.  Many conversations are about what our lives have been – the pains we’ve endured, the lessons we’ve learned.  We have hopes for the future – dreams and goals – but they are matters of action, not just wish anymore.  We take a lot seriously.

Maybe I take it too seriously.  I think I need to laugh more and let more go.  I need to abide more in the now – and just enjoy the joy of the experience.

Like yesterday, I had a great date with a great guy.  He didn’t cackle (at least not audibly) when I fell on our hike, and he bought me this great cheesecake from this wonderful Mexican bakery that he’d found when a man at the laundromat told him it was the best in the world.  I learned about how complicated an airport approach can really be, and I was fascinated with his enthusiasm and the intricacies of his work.  A truly great day.  Not that serious – just a whole lot of fun.

Much of dating now is more complicated and, honestly, more painful.  But it can also be a whole lot of fun – I’m going to abide in that.

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Posted September 6, 2011 by Andi Cumbo-Floyd in Aging, Life Lessons, Relationships, Romance

2 responses to “Dating at Age 36

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  1. It is okay to date at 36. Allow me to be honest with you, I am 27 going 28, single and never dated. I don’t care about it much as I got so much to live for and I rather let nature takes its course on me if I end up settling down at a later age.

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