The Lost Art of “Dropping By”   6 comments

Yesterday, I dropped by my friend Heather’s house.  Well, I didn’t exactly “drop by.”  I called because I was 15 minutes away and asked if I could drop by.  I only stayed a few minutes – long enough to tickle her son Henry’s feet, chat with her husband Ed, see how her birthday was – and then I was on my way again.  Just a quick visit.  A good visit. 

I don’t think we do that enough anymore.  We all seem so scheduled, so busy that we don’t have time to stop by and we don’t have time for people to drop by.  It’s really a shame.  There’s something truly special about a relationship where you can show up at someone’s door at any reasonable hour and be welcomed in to plop on the couch in the midst of the Legos and dirty dishes, laundry that needs folding, and the grime of the day.

I wonder what it is about now that makes this so much harder.  Is it just our busyness?  A 21st century sense of privacy?  Are we using Facebook and texting to “drop in” instead?

It does seem social media and other technology is taking the place of casual visits, but the use of Facebook for this purpose is ironic given that on Facebook – unless you have  much stricter “friend” policy than I do – you are casually dropping in on the lives of a lot of people you barely know.  While I do know, on some level, every one of the 1,000 people I am friends with on Facebook, I am not stopping by most of their houses randomly.  I would never feel comfortable, and I might be shot.

So then what we have done is create a shallower sense of casual friendship with a lot more people and, at the same time, lost of casualness in our real, face-to-face friendships.  I’m a little saddened by this.

Hear this, then, as my call for a movement, let’s take back our friendships.  Let’s stop by the homes of our real friends and watch them smile with joy when it’s us and not a pamphlet-bearer or salesperson.  Let’s use Facebook to convey the trivia of our lives, and use our tongues  to talk about real things.  Let’s keep our friendships real; we need them in a world of so much “reality” that tastes nothing of it.

You with me?

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Posted September 9, 2011 by Andi Cumbo-Floyd in Life Lessons, Relationships

Tagged with , , ,

6 responses to “The Lost Art of “Dropping By”

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  1. I love this post!! And I really agree. I’d love it if more people dropped by!

  2. My cousin and I do this, but she gets the credit for “starting” it. We call it ‘drive by hugs’. When we’re in the area and just need a hug. Quick visit, hard hugs, lots of love. It does need to make a comeback!

  3. I’m with you. We have a very open door policy at our house. 90% of people who come here don’t call OR knock. 🙂

  4. We are always comfortable with the “pop in”, but have found it to not be a culturally acceptable thing on this coast.

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