The middle aged table   4 comments

This past weekend I returned to the East Coast for my cousin’s wedding.  There are 6 grandchildren in my family on my Mom’s side, I am the only girl, and this was the first of my cousin’s to get married.  It was a surreal moment to read at his wedding as he stood there in his United States Air Force uniform all I could think about was when I went to the hospital as a kid to meet him for the first time.  As I watched them during the ceremony moments of our childhood together flashed before me.  Here was this happy-go-lucky easy going kid now a man in a uniform marrying the woman he loved.  How did this happen?   How did time seem to jump so quickly to this moment him a man and me a Mama?  When did we grow up?  After the ceremony and some deep thoughts I was ready for some fun at the reception because honestly my family knows how to party especially at a wedding.

As we entered the hall and I found my table next to my brother and his wife and all my cousins I realized I am not young anymore.  I would never again sit at the kids table at a holiday nor would I share stories of drinking escapades from the previous weekend (oh wait I never had these to share when I was younger either) and I no longer can eat whatever I want and still look good.  I had several cranberry and vanilla vodka drinks and sat back and watched.  Shawn was not able to come to the wedding which left me tons of time to watch and analyze two things I love to do.  As I sat at the young cousins table I was struck with the idea that there should be a middle aged table at weddings.  I wasn’t ready to be at my parents table “the old table” but I certainly didn’t fit at the young table either.  Similar to how I feel in life these days I am not old yet I am not young so does that make me middle aged?  I found myself drifting to the old table from time to time mostly because I adore my parents and my aunts and uncles who were sitting there and I wanted to talk with them.  I also found I had little to say at the young table because I spend my weekends painting pumpkins, cheering for toddlers playing soccer, watching movies, baking cookies, and longing to recoup the sleep I have lost over the past several years.  I rarely spend my weekends out and about and if I do I usually remember them because I have never been a drinker.  I felt caught in some weird gray area that made me feel like I didn’t fit in anywhere yet still very content with where I am in my life.

As I reflect on this moment in life I am struck with how fleeting life is and how each moment we have in life is just that a moment.  These moments do not define our entire life but them do create it.  This was a “big” moment in my cousins life that will change everything he has ever known and every wedding he attends will bring him back to this special day in his life.  I also realized for all of us living life at the middle aged table enjoy it! I find the middle aged table a great place to be in life and I also realize with such clarity that this time in life is fleeting.  Before I know it I will be at the “old table” and I want to be able to enjoy that time in life as much as I enjoyed the young table and as much as I am enjoying the middle aged table.


4 responses to “The middle aged table

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  1. Beautifully articulated, Shelva. I have to admit, I did quite a bit of reminiscing when you told me the news. Seriously…HOW did we get here? How is T old enough to not have to have an adult wait at the bus stop with him?? He’s now responsible for himself AND someone else?? And…where does that leave us?

    I love about you that you live in the moment and relish the flavor of them, whether bitter or sweet, sour or fruity.

  2. Hi
    Interesting post, but just one comment. Don’t join the old table, go to the younger ones, and if you bring a light heart they will welcome you, and you’ll be surprised how many of your ‘peers’ are there.
    I really liked the graphics.
    -k @FitOldDog

  3. PS I really liked your writing style. -k @FitOldDog

  4. Pingback: Defining Middle Age « Gray Hair and Acne

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