Lamenting Singleness   7 comments

Can anybody find me somebody to love? – Freddie Mercury

Tonight, a friend was talking to me tonight about how much she enjoyed her time alone this weekend while her husband was away.  She blasted her radio.  She danced around.  She loved the alone time.

Then, she said, “If Andi complains about being single. . . . ”

I understood her point.  There is a great freedom that comes from singleness.  I can mostly do what I want when I want.  I can blast the radio almost any time of day.  I can dance through the kitchen most evenings while the omelette cooks.

The things is, though, the omelette is almost always for one.  The radio never gets turned down so someone can talk to me.  No one comes into the kitchen to join me in a dance.  And there’s no chance that will happen. . . that’s what singleness feels like.

It’s lonely to be single.

It’s especially lonely when most of your good friends – as good as they are in being my friends – are married.  They just don’t need me like I need them.

Another single friend and I were talking last week, and we were discussing how much we just wanted to have that one person.  “I just want to be the most important person to one person.  I want to have him be the most important person to me. Just one.  Not the world.  Just one.”

Some nights, I just want to end the day with someone and tell him what I’ve been thinking and hear what he’s been thinking.  I want someone to wrap me in his arms just because he loves me.  I want someone to come into the kitchen when I am blasting U2 and spin me until I’m laughing against his chest.

So am I complaining about being single?  Maybe.  But it’s not because I don’t recognize the blessings I have in this season of my life.

It’s because I need someone to share my singleness with . . . as ironic as that is.

What’s are the hard parts of being single for you? The blessings?


Posted November 1, 2011 by Andi Cumbo-Floyd in Relationships, Romance

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7 responses to “Lamenting Singleness

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  1. This is so well written and my sentiments exactly! I have this conversation with my married friends and family often. I know that there will exist this season for me but sometimes it is lonely here in singleness and hard being patient. The blessings for me is that God saw fit to place four of the most beautiful children in my life, that I can love and spoil, and then send home to their parents (my siblings)! I want a family of my own but for now I have a great gift in them…

    • Kimberly, Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. I think a lot of us feel this way, but it does sometimes feel like no one gets it. . . . like you, though, I have tons of kids in my life – my friends’ children – that give me such joy . . . and that I can hand back when it’s time for a diaper change. 🙂

  2. see this – …where a man can reach out for women of substance! And you could be the one!

  3. This pretty much sums up being 30 something and single. Or even a childless couple in their 30’s. This is just the time when everyone is raising families and friendships don’t play as defining a role as they did when we were younger I think. And as a post script since I also peaked at the other blog you posted, a part of me will always smile when recollecting giving my friends older sister a hard time as a teenager. But I’m glad you figured out you’re beautiful. You really did turn out pretty awesome. Hang in there, you’re going to meet someone amazing. Just remember happiness usually requires risk. I sometimes forget that. And I really like your writing when you aren’t talking about writing process. Just my two cents. Anyway. Off to be obnoxious elsewhere *hugs*

    • “Happiness requires risk.” So true, Jon. So true. And from your friend’s big sister, hear me when I say, you turned out pretty well yourself. Thanks for reading and for the compliments.
      Feel free to keep reading here where I blog things not writing . . . . 🙂

  4. Pingback: Living Childless « Gray Hair and Acne

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